Friday, May 04, 2007

What is love?

i am in love ?you would hear lot of your friends telling you that they are in love ..Some of your friends might say they are sad because they are not getting attention from someone they love ...Now i would like to ask do these peoples know wat is love ?In this post i would like to explain wat is love , why it happens and wat should you do if someone you love cheats you ..
Biological defenition :Biologically a love is devided into three parts
1.lust
2.Romantic attraction
3Attachment
Lust is something you can say physical feelings thats why love normally happens in opposite sex(male/females).Attraction is a romantic desire which gives a satisfactory feeling and happiness.Both Lust and attraction are short term feelings (stays for few weeks and then started loosing importance).Attachment is only bondage which promote relationship for years or decades .if you see scientifically these all relationship produces some kind of chemicals in our brain resulting such type of imotions
Psycology of love:
Psycologicaly love constitutes following three factors.
1.Intimacy
2.Committment
3.Passion

Intimacy: is the fact using which two peoples can share personal lives details which they cant share with everyone .
Committment: It is the expectation that relationship will last forever(a never ending relationship)

Passion: It is the part of love which involve romance .
Why We got attracted to each other ?Everyone knows that no one is complete human being .Everyone have shortcomings.So we try to complete ourselves by loving with someone For example if you do fear to take bold decisions its most probable chances that you will fall with someone who is very bold in nature .You always get attracted by qualities that you donot have .However similarity of thoughts play important role too .
Religious views of love
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails."
According to Gita(Hindu's religious book)
It says, "Sattva—pure, luminous, and free from sorrow—binds us to happiness and wisdom"
now upto now we have discussed important factors constituting love or you can say i have subdevided love into 6 parts as follows:
lust,romanticattraction,attachment,intimacy,committment,passion as discussed earlier
In a short word Love is just an imotion (an imotion like fear,depression,happiness)...

There are two types of loves ..
1.Love
2.Sacred Love
1.Love is the thing we discussed previously which involves fulfilment of about 6 conditions to some extent
2.Sacred Love :Sacred love is the fulfilment of above 5 conditions(except lust) with no expectations ..Love makes you sad ,because you want your partner(someone you love) to return you same amount of passion,committment,intimacy etc etc ...
Sacred love is just a love where you expect nothing from your partner ..so if you are being sad in love you should reconsider .

To whom love can happen ?
A love can happen between any number of peoples ...A man and nature ,A man and animal ,Children and parents ,two friends or between group of friends ..now remember in such type of loves almost 5 conditions met except lust..A lust occurs between two opposite sexes (male/females or gays/lesbians)..And according to me if lust play an important role in your love trust me this love cannot be Sacred love ..

Can Human love be Complete?
Answer is simply no..A human love with other human cannot be complete love ..A complete love would be a love where where 100% of lust ,Romantic attraction ,Attachment ,Intimacy ,Committment ,Passion is given and received.Which is not possible in case of human beings for example if you give 100% committment to your love partner you would have no committment left for your other friends or family ?is it possible .. i dont think so ..So human love cannot be perfect love

Can sacred love (does not involve lust part)be perfect ?
Yes A sacred love can be perfect. But this love can happen between God and man ..Because its the only god whom we can love and expect nothing from him (because we know god will not cheat us).Human beings are made to cheat so you cannot have sacred love with human being (if you are considering your love sacred with other human , trust me you are cheating yourself)

Why love makes us Sad?
No doubt love makes you happy ,but amount of happiness cannot be collectively more than you get from your family/friends etc .But sorrow's of love is much more than you can get from any other thing ...Reason is simple We expect more than we give its human nature .for example lets say if we have 100% attraction within us ...We may give 20% to family 10% to friends 5% to fun and stuff 5% to naturally beautiful places and rest 60% to someone we love ..now if give 60% of our attraction to someone we love We expect him/her to give us 70% of attraction to us ..same is true about other factors too like committment /romance etc.So we are sad because we expect more than wat we give .So in any relationship amount of expressions given(romance/attraction...etc ) cannot be equal to amount of expression receieved .Either its high or low .So in any relationship person who gives more expressions and get less expressions in return becomes sad .

For example if we keep 2 peoples who claim they love each other very much in a closed door with no socialize and fun stuff for them .One day they will be bored from each other .So Desires are important to us until they donot get fulfilled but when they get fulfilled they start loosing importance .Similar is with love ,Love is important until you donot get someone you love and its universal truth .

Got cheated in love ? think again
You are sad because you expected 100% committment ,attraction,attachment,intimacy ,passion from someone you loved .But as i have previously discussed it is not possible for human being to give you so much attention and imotions So you can either be sad for it ...but give me answer ?wat about expectations that other peoples have from you ?Wat about committment you done to your family and friends ?Dont you have any attraction left for your family/Friends ?Does not your Family/Friends expect anything from you ?if these things does not matter to you . then sure cry everyday .But if you have any love left for your family/friends then sure you have no right to be sad for someone (specially for single person,because he/she does not deserve 100% of your expressions /love )
Thanks,
Swani Mishra
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1 comment:

Rosie said...

seems lovely blog...we are falling in love to read it